Open all the windows

"If I could I would keep this feeling in a plastic jar"

Frio

After a long 24 hour drive from Florida to Connecticut the only word that comes to mind, (which Im not surprised about) is COLD. I am freezing I havent had a New England full blown winter in about 1.5 to 2 years. So needless to say Im transforming back from my Floridian blood to my Ct Blood.

( I wrote this as soon as I got in last night, nothing more to say. I haven't seen any of my lovelies, soon soon, NO PICTURE FOR TODAY aghhhh the world will end hehe pce)

Bookcovers and Benadryl

Pretty much I heard about the whole twilight craze, and thought blach! why do I want to read a book that seems so "Youth Adult" haha whatever that means. But yeah saw the movie pretty much fell in love with the fact that Edward Cullen is completely and awesomely perfecto. So I got the book. Its supposed to be for the roadtrip up north. I couldnt help it I had to read a chapter. Overall easy read, really good, i understand the craze now. I think I'll read another chapter. :P

One day

So yeah on my quest to get healthy and change my eating habits, I have been consuming more yogurt because it is a healthier snack plus its a good source of calcium and probiotics. I have been trying to get flavors that I know I'll enjoy, and most of the time I can't get yogurt with fruit in it, because i am regrettably allergic to fruit. blah Anyway to my point, today I had boston creme pie yogurt haha because I mean lets face it the idea seemed genius to me :P, pie in the form of yogurt. But what I have found is that all yogurt tastes pretty much the same. None of it is drastically different. The cherry yogurt I  had last night taste pretty much the same as my boston creme pie today. Any yogurt suggestions?? Just seems funny to me, I think im going to try and add granola or something to it. It'll probably just tastes like the same yogurt with granola then, blah. The funny thing is the pictures they put on the yogurt.

Hahaha ^ yeah..okay :P

Oh to be Gomez again :)

I'd say I'm wednesday at the moment. hehe :P

To more than one

You're Changing, becoming this person I don't really know (then again maybe I'm changing too).  A person I didn't see, a person I can't recognize. Your words less sincere, the conversations more dull, the topics forced and unentertaining. I'm tired of talking to a computer-like friend, the conversation like a boring volley of empty nothingness. I don't doubt the dry spells will disappear, but the sadness of talking to a person who seems to think my words are as dull as dry toast is making me hesitant to strike up conversation. Its always different versions of "hi, how are you?" and a random mash up of refrigerator magnet phrases. I talk to you about the weather which clearly means, excuse the clichéd pun we are headed towards stormy conditions. When we talk its as if the words coming out of my mouth are lost and drift away. I miss the randomness in our dialogue, the depth, the quotable phrases, the excited tone in your voice, and the realness. I miss you.

Spiralling

Alrighty and Now for a real blog :)

So to catch those of you who have no idea up, I have never been in a relationship. I don't actual care that I haven't and its not that I don't want to, its that I haven't put myself out there or opened myself up to even make this a possibility. My own fault, maybe, but its how I am I guess, I don't know when it'll happen for me and I kind of have come to terms with this. Im ok with it because I know most relationships that occur before ur 20 are bogus, even though some of those evolve into actual healthy relationships. But yeah I dont exactly know where this blog is going all I know is that I have come to realize that Im sort of ready. I am not looking but I am also not resisting the idea. After countless years of my grandparents asking me when they get to meet my boyfriend, or when he was going to come to dinner, or my mom trying to pry answers about my imaginary boyfriend, or laughing at my dad's attempt to discover whether I was straight or gay. Hahaha. Just because I dont have a boyfriend doesn't mean I'm gay. 

To be quite honest I was so sheltered in high school my true outgoing personality didn't emerge fully til my senior year in highschool which btw is too late and I was 12 paces behind everyone. But I guess I it doesn't matter we all travel at different speeds and experience different things in life. I think I was always worried about what people would think of my life, what people would say how they would react, enduring  certain life battles, from my mom getting M.S, to my parents splitting up, to my countless moves. My Life may be different and unconventional but I think now that I seem to accept it for what it is, I'm ready to let other people in.

Would it be a waste

"Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements, even if it leads no where..."

Donde vas...

So i just wanted to write this because I have been lost in what some might call "la la land". I can't seem to get a grip or get myself out of this funk. Im not sure why it started or when I only know I am going to seem pretty separate from the world. So in advance, Im sorry, I'll probably be passive and not in the mood to talk, chill, or do anything for that matter my mind is jam packed with everything and I just wanted to let you all know. Don't be offended and don't think its about any of you. This is about me and a journey I have just begun.

I'll be back soon :)

<3

Oh no words...

Listen, Love :P

Muffler<--as in the scarf, not the Car part

Hello Peoples, 

I've been absent for a few days, and that is the result of massive amounts of working and packing. You know what is amazingly annoying? Now that I am leaving this place I seem to be making new friends and meeting new people. I mean I guess its what happens but damn, I mean like honestly I cherish the new people I have met, yet I have to leave them in 2 weeks so it's kind of bittersweet. 

 ANYWAY! super excited to be back in 2 weeks, I know once I get there I'll have like 2 weeks where I am conflicted. but its to be expected. So if I tell you Im conflicted slap me and/or just say "2 weeks melisa, 2 weeks" hehe. But yeah I mean I'm a New Englander and need seasons, among other things.

Things I can't wait for:

• Thai Food that doesnt take an hour to get.
• Walking around downtown just because and not having to spend or feel like Im taking pointless walks.
• Taking the bus and getting somewhere with out the whole day being wasted. haha
• Sitting on my porch and just reading and watching...everything. (p.s. i sit there even in the winter when it snows)
• walk to the beach (even though it isnt the cleanest)
• Go to NYC to visit me loves and to just be random.
• Drive around and know where I am.
• Clubs that ban smoking inside.
• wear a scarf (even just the fashionable kind) and not be stared at like im a weirdo.
• BOOOOTS --> there is no need for them in the south, why do people wear them?
• Sleep in on a snow day. we have hurricane days, those are a lil more scary.
• More frequent friend outtings.
• Leaving the house hahaha <---sad

Can't think of more now, but I think I post some lists later. Lists seem to efficiently explain how someone is feeling without having them to think too much and or worrying about sentence structure. Anywhooooo time to hit the road jack and finish packin.

Pce my dudes and thanks for reading this abomination of a blog :)

Do you ever sit and wonder

Hello My Friends,   

An update on whats been going on. 

I have been procrastinating to no end, I can't seem to focus on packing and getting it all in the boxes taped up and ready for the move. So, i've decided to just start throwing things in boxes, forget organizing. :) Im just going to throw, what's the point in organizing a box, im not going to live in the box, everything has to come out of the box anyway. Ill bubble wrap the necessaries and then throw everything else in, im so serious.

And now for my next topic:

Can someone please explain to me how people can call you their friend and yet treat you like a stranger, honestly when I make friends with people I actually consider them my friend, go figure. But yeah lately I just realized that some people who I am "friends" with are only friends with me when its convenient for them, when they need advice or sumthin. But thats ok, I guess thats the way the cookie crumbles, and I guess they don't realize they are doing it. I would just like to not invest in friendships with people who don't consider the friendship real or an actual friendship. This is not highschool, I dont want, nor do I need friends just for the count, I want real friends by my side the ones I know are going to subsequently add to my life, not drain me of the energy I have, or add nothing of value to my life.  So one of my Resolutions has stemed from this little rant.

Resolution one: I will be focusing more time on myself than investing a lot of my being and energy on everyone else, get my self healthy mentally and physically first.

(This does not mean avoiding my friends, if you are my true friend you know this has nothing to do with you, but I just have been feeling like I am dishing out more than Im getting in return with some people)

SO I mean if you are reading this, I have top secret info. Im not telling anyone really so keep it on the low low. All You have to do is Click here and Ull find out what the secret is... AGAIN if you tell I will hurt you :) 

(not everyone reads this blog, if they want to know they will have to meander to the blog, dont just tell everyone to come here it defeats the purpose)

SO :) 

I can type ñ's, Now I can type Piña Colada :)

I have come to a stand still with packing, my room is kind of filled with boxes and crap all over my floor. I want to leave for sure, but I can't pretend like I wont miss it. I mean it was my home for a year and a half and it is where my mother and brother live. Anxious about moving back up north yes, but not anxious to have to say bye to half of my life, I'll visit of course but not being able to wake up and go hug my mom and sit down on the couch and talk or watch our favorite shows is gonna take some getting used to. I have to pack all my stuff and I just wish I could close my eyes wiggle my nose like Samantha from Bewitched and have it all packed and there waiting. Although, if I could wiggle my nose and make amazing things happen I wouldn't just move my crap from one place to another. :) 

Anyway its December 1st and 30 days closer to a new year, which is kind of crazy how the time just passes by. I think this year Im actually ready to make resolutions and commit to them. Cause lets face it making a resolution to clean my room everyday when Im 16 and thinking that "it'll happen this year!" is dumb or committing to focusing on my homework and getting straight A's the last year of high school while your suffering senior-itis is near impossible. So now that Im older, ready and more mature and have at least chipped off a pocket-size piece of what real life is I think I'll make a real achievable resolution. What it is, I dont know but I'll figure it out. I have a month.